Deep Breaths and a Call | Lone Star Signers, San Antonio

Exhale.

Can you hear that, San Antonio? It’s like the cold front last night brought in a sense of calm. It finally *feels* like the holidays are right around the corner, and I can feel that little “tickle” of anticipation starting to grow deep inside.

I know many families are traveling this week, but for us, it’s business as (mostly) usual.

My husband works for a non-profit retirement community and doesn’t get holidays off. We’re okay with that, as long as they continue to be understanding that we’ll be joining him in the dining room for lunch on Thanksgiving Day (and Christmas, too…)

Our homeschool group meets on Monday and then we have the entire month of December off. And even though we started Kindergarten on June 3rd, it doesn’t seem possible that we’re nearly half-way through the year already. I love the fresh starts that seem to come with every new week, every new month, every turn of the calendar.

Homeschooling is harder than I thought it would be.

Mostly just in the balance of living our life and doing our day, and oh yeah, it’s 4:00 and we should probably get to today’s lesson plans. So much of Kindergarten used to be life skills and playing (and it wasn’t really that long ago) that I don’t want to be bogged down with worksheets and “projects”…even though those things need to be done every once in a while. We’re reading and singing and playing, and I hear a little voice pipe up from the backseat when I’m driving home from one.more.activity, “You know what, Mama? Two take away one is one!”

I’m thankful for her Sunday School teachers and the women who teach her on Tuesday mornings while Mama takes her two hours for herself and builds community with other women. I love it when SHE teaches me something and I get to ask, “Where did you learn that?!” Because it’s hard being a mama/teacher and a daughter/student sometimes. It can be a lot of pressure. For both of us.

And there’s laundry and an impish two year old that likes to take off her socks and shoes (and let’s be honest, her clothes) right before we need to be out the door and these people expect to eat three times a day…

(My mom used to say, “HOW can you POSSIBLY be hungry! You just ate!” and I suppose I understand now that the food doesn’t just magically appear on the table and the dishes don’t do themselves.)

And my pile of books to read grows taller and my passion for teaching continues to burn quietly under all the other “stuff” that needs to be done. Balance. It’s the hardest part of being a grown-up, I think.

In the days of constant social media and too-short conversations between friends, I just wanted to remind you that I am a Mama. I am a teacher. And under all of it, I am still just me.

Your turn! Talk back to me, now. Tell me a story. Ask a question. Share what you’re struggling with or finally feeling like you’re doing right…as a mama or as a teacher or as a person. Connect with me.

Still just me. ❤
Melissa

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11 thoughts on “Deep Breaths and a Call | Lone Star Signers, San Antonio

  1. oh my, this post is just what i needed to read. I love this:”In the days of constant social media and too-short conversations between friends, I just wanted to remind you that I am a Mama. I am a teacher. And under all of it, I am still just me.”
    i have soo much to say. too much (but not here). i have been debating whether to blog about the subject of too much all week. its hard to put into words, but this week everything just hit the wall and i decided that i really cant do as much as i thought before, something needs to go, priorities need to be changed. help must be enlisted.

  2. Thank you for stopping by, Veronica. I think we need to schedule a mom's night out sometime soon. I didn't mention how hard it is to have an actual conversation with other moms when there are little people about, but I should have.

    I started out the year thinking, “Look at all these activities! We'll be SO social!” And one by one, they're burning out. I crave more simplicity, I think. More of less.

    “Help must be enlisted,” is my new battle cry, indeed. ❤

  3. Yes to mom's night. It is so hard to have meaningful words that are coherent when watching my kids almost fall off playground equipment, etc.
    More of less YESH! which Is why I am doing total wardrobe reconfigurations.

  4. Awesome post! This parenting gig is the hardest job you'll ever love, but did I say how wonderful you are at it?? Little people grow up quickly and the time you spend with them now will pay dividends down the line, so don't be discouraged! Cut back, try not to do so much, but enjoy your days with these beautiful girls! I love you.

  5. Great honest post. I'm feeling a bit burnt out with homeschooling and really unsure about doing it next year.. The mommy guilt lately has been overwhelming.. The 2yo not getting enough attention because I'm so focused on teaching the big girl.. O this week with cuts and bruises from increased mobility.. And took the 5yo to the dentist today for the first time since she was 2 and she had 7 cavities, 2 in need of a root canal.. I feel absolutely horrible.. But still always trying to count my blessings (my baby is growing and developing as he should.. I can afford the major dental work my kid needs.. and even though I often feel overwhelmed and exhausted from having three little kids, I love them more than I can express.) Life is hard, but I know it was intended to be that way, and I'm trying to find joy in the journey.

  6. I feel this way too but I'm not even homeschooling! 🙂 Maybe it's just part of the journey of motherhood/parenthood. I have guilt. I think there is so much I should be doing (and, doing better). Sometimes I have to just stop, take a deep breath, and give myself a break. I'm doing OK (and maybe even a little better than OK). But in the hustle and bustle, it can be tough to see and acknowledge that.

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